You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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