Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
