My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
