You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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