her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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