You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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