Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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