That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I need to sanitize my soul.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize