I met the friendliest cop last night
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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