The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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