I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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