I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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