Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
