Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Everclear isn't food dammit
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
