I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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