Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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