I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize