Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
