this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
i now understand why vodka
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
