All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
