I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
