There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
