we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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