How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
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Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
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Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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