Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
