you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
