wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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