Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize