Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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