plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
