Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
