my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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