he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
