and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
