Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
