Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
