You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize
