Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
