I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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