I hate all girls vehemently.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Randomize
