there's paper in my vomit.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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