Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar

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(301): View more from Maryland

Fuck appropriateness.

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(417): View more from Missouri

I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka

(479): View more from Arkansas

I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once

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(310): View more from California

she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex

(1-310): View more from California

wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh

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Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Read it at the TFLN blog
(630): View more from Illinois

I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.

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(305): View more from Florida

i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.

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(415): View more from California

My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.

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(209): View more from California

He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"

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(775): View more from Nevada

I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.

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