It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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