i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Sexist Restaurant Owner Tells Woman To ‘Keep Her Legs Open’ After Firing Her
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
19 True Stories So Scary You May Never Turn The Lights Off Again
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
