Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm at about main and main street
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me