I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.