Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Randomize
