Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm just crazy horny about you
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
