if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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