hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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