Your tits are I can't wait for
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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