She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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