At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
last night I used snow as a chaser
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