I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
