We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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