Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
