Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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