You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
