This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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