go do what you do best...puke behind churches
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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