We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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